i pick up all the pieces and make an island

closure

2011-03-05T21:30:00.003+08:00

i restarted this blog when i started cmm, so it's kinda fitting that i close it upon graduation. i don't really want to blog about my life and stuff anymore. it doesn't do anything for me nowadays.

bye.

how long? not long

2010-09-01T22:55:00.001+08:00

cause what you reap is what you sow

Refuse
Resist
Rebel

like autumn leaves his sense fell from him

2010-08-28T16:12:00.002+08:00

sometimes when i see a guitarist on youtube or even one of my friends playing a song that i haven't learnt, it makes me recall instances when people have asked me, "can you play that?" and i shook my head. it does piss me off sometimes. i guess it shows i still have insecurity issues. but i think it also shows that i'm hungry.

one more month. 18 more working days. come on.

2010-08-09T23:30:00.001+08:00

he's waiting for the time when the last shall be first

2010-07-28T22:58:00.003+08:00

and the first shall be last
in a cardboard box 'neath the underpass

it's probably the first birthday when i don't want life to speed up. what i have experienced in the past 4 months (and 2 more to come) is not guaranteed to be my future. i really hope not. but it's what life will be like if i make the wrong choices. if i put income before fulfillment. it's like i've seen the ditch in the road ahead, and i want to slam on the brakes, or at least swerve to the side. it's like i've taken the red pill prematurely.

i hate feeling so pensive.

after 24 september, i will enjoy what's left of my teenhood. and after it's gone, i will not make the mistake of subjecting myself to the same kind of life that my current colleagues have.

and the highway is alive tonight
nobody's fooling nobody as to where it goes
i'm sitting down here in the campfire light
with the ghost of tom joad

and the riot be the rhyme of the unheard

2010-07-11T18:27:00.003+08:00

at least i don't have to go back to the office on saturdays anymore, thankfully. i still end up doing some work, but i get to have precious sleep. there were some weeks where i went to work on saturday and church on sunday - that meant ZERO days of waking up late. at least now its better in that respect.

also my load for this next magazine issue (sep-oct) is lighter, thankfully. if i can just confirm with my sup that i won't be involved in the nov-dec issue, i will be able to smell the end of this shit. if not, then i'll just do as much as i can in advance so that the rest of this will be pretty smooth sailing (compared to the first half).

decided not to buy a keyboard until SIP ends. want to buy a new guitar pedal, but still deciding which one.

line up to the mind cemetary, now

2010-06-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

"you could be the first person to go to the North Pole who didn't want to be there"

and i've been working like a dog

2010-05-02T18:05:00.002+08:00

i guess most of us cmmers have. my first two weeks were insane, because my company was doing wgs and was also involved in fha. i got to go to a buffet dinner, but it came at the end of a 13-day work week, including one sunday. now it's more manageable, but i still hate their haphazard way of doing things and the workaholic atmosphere my office has.

one thing i have found release in is going for cell. another is alcohol. haha. sounds like a paradox. "you're a Christian but you find release in alcohol?" people who think like that are assholes. i am human, i also need material indulgences. i'm already like the only person in my department who doesn't smoke anyway.

all the souls that would die just to feel alive

2010-03-24T23:20:00.002+08:00

hmm...since the holidays started i have

resumed training
gone to thailand
passed my btt FINALLY thank God

recording is still in progress, although i doubt we will reach our goal.

maybe it is ok to not get what i want after all.

blogging is tiresome nowadays. this post is mostly so i have a march archive.

riding alongside, for a while / going down swinging

2010-02-25T20:13:00.003+08:00

with year 2 completely over, it really won't be long before we graduate. i want to soak in what i can because it only happens once, but i still look forward to graduating.

"i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not." - kurt cobain. kinda the opposite of how cmm students are supposed to be. but the last thing i want to come across as is fake. if i do i'll try and correct it.

restarted training the gym nearest to my house. not training for one year and then restarting is hard. i barely lasted the length of the lesson and i've gone back from a C+ to a D at best. but it's part of it anyway.

even if you have a cold still

2010-02-15T15:22:00.003+08:00

a quick note to sis: your time at the hospital showed you how much the people around you care for your well being. before i start sounding like i have that big brother air about me - because i actually hate that kind of persona - just remember how fortunate you are. if i went to hospital, of course my family would visit. maybe a handful of people from my cell. but i know that some of our cousins who visited you would not do the same for me.

I WISH I COULD

2010-02-04T23:53:00.006+08:00

this is my 300th post, which reminds me that i always feel like the odds are against me.

btw muse was THE SHIT. super stage presence, visuals, improvisation, the lot. best live band i've seen by a long long way.

i ask "are all these tests really necessary?" job was a prosperous man who went through a lot of tests. but i don't consider myself prosperous. i don't think i have had a sheltered life either.

i know what it's like to come in first and to be the best, but i also know what it is to fail repeatedly, to hate and be hated, to be stepped on, to be denied and rejected, to see other people get what they don't deserve while i stand there empty handed, to wander.

i think everybody should just stop trying to make me reign in any anger i have inside. because without anger i go back to being a wuss. without anger i will collapse under pressure. not to mention without anger i would not have gotten through ccc.

since my entrance into poly in jan 2008 i have never truly felt at peace.

can you see me / we may be on this road but

2010-01-31T21:24:00.004+08:00

WE MADE IT! past one of the stupidest projects in the hardest sem with the most fucked up group member! we made it. and both the presentation and the report turned out decent. DECENT! i was so high yesterday that i didn't mind moshing to smells like teen spirit all alone in my room.

it's just frustrating how hard it is to feel like i belong in a new place.

very ape

2010-01-16T00:10:00.003+08:00

CK - okay fine the Final Fantasy XIII ending is indeed somewhat heartwarming says:
?????
ok
thought you said there was no meeting last week but I got no problems with that

in one piece can already says:
u did get the sms that there was a meeting today right?

CK - okay fine the Final Fantasy XIII ending is indeed somewhat heartwarming says:
??

in one piece can already says:
didnt u get my sms that we were meeting today?

CK - okay fine the Final Fantasy XIII ending is indeed somewhat heartwarming says:
ah shit
my phone was off
well it's not off
but the phone function is off hang on
ooh
there we go
yeah anyway I'll try and find something like that
when are we meeting again for CCC?

i think that's the first msn convo i ever copied onto a post. thoooo ummmmm...

i can be on the last train home

2010-01-10T00:54:00.002+08:00

on friday i played what will probably be my last gig with my tp musixvox band (cleavon). no significant mistakes on my part, but the stoooopid production crew misplaced the pedal i was supposed to be using. i looked so stiff because i had to be next to the amp the whole time to keep pressing it. it was fun though. the biggest stage i've played on. one more gig and that makes my fifth. i hope i start getting paid gigs soon.

i also played for cell for the first time. feedback was very positive, maybe i was a bit hard on myself.

i thought maybe i could rest after last week's shitty deadlines, but.

hit me with your best shot

2010-01-02T01:07:00.003+08:00

long story short, 2009 was better than 2008. not that less shit happened to me. in fact more shit happened. but 2009 was better because my life found its centre. 2009 started out ok, quickly turned hideous but picked up in the last quarter and ended on a generally good note. i still don't have everything i want and i don't know if i can get all of it in 2010, but life now feels so much more purposeful. i can now go about my business whether or not i get what i want.

i thought i'd give credit where it's due. the people that had an unexpected positive influence on me in 2009.

nadzirah - i now know you actually have more guts than a LOT of cmm people. and you've proved to be a better person than many of our coursemates who consider themselves my friends.

dom - even though we aren't alike, i'm thankful i met you because you brought me to cell, which was a major turning point for me last year.

wee kiat - when i met you the first time i visited cell, i thought maybe you were just another passionate youth leader. but you showed so much concern for us and so much desire for us to grow. if even half the youth leaders in bkc were like that, there would be an EPIC revival in that zombieland they call a church.

and i'm not scared, light my candles
in a daze cause i found God
yeah yeah

comfort and joy

2009-12-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

merry Christmas.

DOLL STEEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKKK!!! TEST MEEEEEEEEEAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!

now i see the beauty of it. my granddad was discharged from hospital on Christmas eve. i didn't think it would happen, i thought he would only have been discharged this weekend at best.

i'm glad i didn't do any schoolwork today, despite the amount of work there is to be done. can't go for tutorial on monday cos of btt. oh well.

cell Christmas party on wednesday went well, even though we didn't have many visitors, because we had fun. haha. i hope i'm not speaking too soon, but i think the people in poly/ite 5 are really aight.

as you were, as i want you to be

2009-12-22T00:48:00.003+08:00

i think you should be grateful for what you have and stop complaining about every little thing that happens to you. i know people who have these problems WAY worse than you. seems like you're less of a man than you let on. you twat.

i don't usually say that i have personal stuff going on but i do now. when a loved one gets hospitalized and is in pain everything else seems so shallow. schoolwork seems like a formality. good grades can't restore his health. what i want to be doing is playing guitar for him in the hospital ward, not working on some bloody mep or radio. thanks wee kiat for praying for him too.

oh well, whatever, nevermind

2009-12-11T01:58:00.003+08:00

so you have a blog that has been around for months, and you never mentioned it to me. actually i'm not surprised you didn't.

with my gpa going to a local uni is out of the question, and the foreign unis that will take me in with this kind of gpa aren't that great either. guess it's the long way round. i just hope my future workplace isn't overcrowded with foreigners like it is now (in pinoy accent). oh well. i'm not gonna allow myself any self-pity. never.

most people don't realize

2009-12-08T23:30:00.002+08:00

that two large pieces of coral
painted brown and attached to his skull
with common wood screws
can make a child look like a deer

i wish my friends would stop their "wah one paper only sia you!" during term break is when i don't get to rest.

as a friend, as a friend

2009-12-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

i pretty much know what i need to do to get myself fixed. i know my problems won't be solved overnight, but i will have the direction i need. funny how when my mother told me this i didn't take her seriously. it's only when i got the same advice from elsewhere that i took it to heart. i guess you tend to doubt your mother at this age.

this is one time where i look to my sis' example. you have your srtuggles, but your life is centred around the right things. maybe if you prayed for me that would be great :) this is more important than grades, work, friends or anything else. i know what i HAVE to do. i just have to get started.

amazes me, the will of instinct

2009-11-29T23:04:00.003+08:00

i just want to stop feeling like i'm wandering most of the time. i mean yeah i got out of egypt, which means the worst is over, but now i'm going round and round in the desert. and i'm not just talking about more which church i attend.

wherever my wandering ends, it'd better be a nice place.

totally unrelated - this is damn stooopid. i think the guy in white is even more in the wrong than the guy in black. you can see his face too, a total asshole attention seeker. if i were the guy in black, i would have grabbed his neck and kneed the bastard till he shut the hell up. if i were a bystander who saw everything, a choke from behind would have sufficed. THAT would be standing up to bullying. if you disagree, you are probably an extreme feminist or a bully yourself.

she holds a smile like someone would a crying child

2009-11-23T17:28:00.003+08:00

cleavon's first gig last week. i still don't know what the name means.

sorry sis, it went better than the drama floor anthem. but i feel cleavon's chemistry isn't much better than fuzzface's was. maybe you're right. if we had anand jamming with us there would be potential there. or what if...you, me, jonny and anand? hmm...

my body feels weak. time to restart training, now that i can afford to attend the gym nearest to my house.

she stands with a well intentioned man
but she can't relax with his hands on the small of her back

november rain

2009-11-17T01:34:00.000+08:00

what shiiiiitty weather.

test meeeeeeeeaaaat!!!

2009-11-14T23:34:00.006+08:00

finally some time to continue on assignments after shifting stuff at home and playing numerous practices and a second preview. i can see town from my new room!

you don't have to be mat to listen to nirvana. they're still quite a love or hate band. but that's better than being damn commercial.

hello, good morning, how you do?

2009-11-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

this song meant a lot to me when i first heard it, but then it lost its meaning because the subject matter i associated with the song turned ugly.

now it has significance to me again - because it has significance to...well yknow. it makes me hope. but more importantly, it makes me look forward, the direction i should be looking.

so this is the way that i (will) say

the fight is on

2009-10-28T20:31:00.005+08:00

today i tried to avoid a monster, but alas, i got fucked by circumstance. nothing new.

today i tried to save myself from things becoming worse, but i got fucked by circumstance a second time.

today i found that running away had not worked, so i have to fight.

today i helped a friend.

today when i got home i played my guitar with a level of emotion i had not experienced in a while.

well i'm standing next to a mountain
and i chop it down with the edge of my hand
well i'm STANDING NEXT TO A MOUNTAIN
I CHOP IT DOWN WITH THE EDGE OF MY HAND

a friend blogged a birthday post for me this year, and below a picture of me doing a muay thai kick, he wrote "that's the fighter i don't wan't to see mellow". you won't bro.

help me out, sun tzu
"know your enemy and know yourself, and in a hundred battles you will never be in peril."

p.s. nad, if you happen to read this - it's time to hunt down the dinosaur, and smack down the mosquito. i've encountered worse.

don't know if i'm coming up or down

2009-10-26T17:52:00.003+08:00

now at least i have more things i look forward to each week.

the money i earn from work on fridays.

cell on friday night. (because of cell itself ok! not because of...yeah)

to some extent, church. (i look forward to church now! gasp! that's gotta be a good sign)

guitar lessons with my new students. (in the near future)

then what was i looking to each week before i had these things?

i think i'll get a twitter, so i can read the tweets of sis and allyson. i won't use it actively until sometime in the future, but i want to stop using blogger eventually.

through the desert on a horse with no name

2009-10-17T22:52:00.005+08:00

oh nevermind.

can't wait to go to work again on saturday.

did i just say that?

you're never gonna catch tomorrow

2009-10-14T22:52:00.003+08:00

discovered this song thanks to my musicvox band

"in our organization, money isn't quite so important as knowing who to trust." - a line from casino royale

wtf sia. seriously. ok i don't want this blog to be so angsty. so before this turns into a paragraph, i just want to say that you and your damn facades can go. fly. kite.

work at jacob's has been tiring. and no i did not make any new friends at work because 1. none of my colleagues are singaporean 2. all of them are much older. some customers are nice. some are asses. just glad i'll finish on friday.

one positive thing that happened recently was THE LIFT FINALLY WORKS!!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A LIFT THAT STOPS ON EVERY FLOOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah cheap thrill. but like finally.

hello

2009-10-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

one of those songs from which you only remember one word. but that's enough. actually in that song that's the only word i like. the rest of is is cheesy.

the last holidays got damn sian after a while, for some reason. this holidays i've acheived less, but i feel much better than i did in february and march. wierd sia.

i don't know why i blog nowadays.

he's not selling any alibis

2009-09-25T00:03:00.003+08:00

comedy music ftw!

better things on the other side of town(?)

2009-09-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

been attending a friend's cell meetings as well as faith community baptist church (fcbc). perhaps this is just what the doctor ordered.

also, a second hand xbox 360 is in the house. like finally, after three bloody years (i nearly won one in a competition, missing out by one place).

and i traded in my guitar to help me save up for an insanely nice one.

still haven't signed up for driving though. damn.

sometimes i wonder - what the hell is up with people describing their lives as if they live in some fucking channel 8 drama

with a thousand smiles she gives to me free

2009-09-15T00:19:00.004+08:00

"you won't part with yours either". reminds me of all the times when people ask "why you like to play guitar so much?" the answer is - it has become part of me, like a beloved pet

even though i've only met you once, i really appreciate how enthu you and your friends were in asking me for help with guitar. but especially you, you were the most enthu of the bunch.

i'd teach you all the guitar you want, let you play my guitar without hesitation, even learn whatever john mayer song you want to hear me play, even though i don't listen to john mayer.

like a rolling stone

2009-09-12T00:19:00.003+08:00

i think i may have used that title before. oh well.

anberlin at baybeats - their acoustic set was very very good. and their rock set was...WOW! (btw wang min if you're wondering i did kena moshed. and it was in fact more moshy than the one i saw at great spy experiment's gig)

chalet with cousins - thoroughly fun. and by cousins i mean the whole pack of them. the highlight was actually going out of the chalet to see kelvin, owner of guitar connection, perform at a club. (kelvin is the best guitarist i know personally. freakingggggg ass pro.) that meant travelling from downtown east to home to change, to st. james power station, back to downtown east. strangely enough i liked it.

friend: now _____ and _______ and dating
me: oh. i don't care
why would i? i hardly know both of them, i think the above girl is another one of those, and the above guy has that damn asshole kind of face.

hi God i would like to ask how long more i have to wander. could you point me in the direction of water? thank you.

schoolyard conversations taken to heart

2009-08-31T21:00:00.005+08:00

got this off facebook. damn depressing sia.

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
the first. but when someone looks into your eyes it doesn't guarantee that they are really listening.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
probably when i got back my socio coursework grade. because it reminded me what i got for the mid term test. (i failed, and so did a third of the class. that says something.) and it made me have a VERY bad impression of the module. YES i still hate it.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago nonstop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
honolulu! ok. probably sis. "i love you, you are the most awesome girl i have ever known. bar none. if i don't make it be happy for me, i will have no more hardships to go through. use the voice that God gave you to full effect. rock on."

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
triple-barelled qn wth. i only tell family and close friends, not announce it on my facebook status. i would island hop across the pacific, with a guitar of course. i would be a little afriad but a lot more hopeful.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Love or Trust? Which do you choose? Why?
love. it's much rarer and more elusive. trust is more easily given and received.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life?
i can save the dog AND THEN PUT A COLLAR ON IT SO IT CAN TALK. then it can vouch for me to my boss. that way i can have my cake and eat it.

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?
yes, but not immediately. if two people are together they have the right to know if one is cheating.

8. Your friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?
depends on which friend. i would have a specific answer for each one.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
there are some traits i'd get irritated with. but i can jam and perform with myself!
"thank you. i'm ian"
"and i'm ian"
"and we are ian yap"
(backstage)
"nice one, ian"
"yeah ian, you did great too"
"HEY WHERE DID YOU PUT MY COKE?"
"YOUR COKE? IT WAS MINE!"
"IT WAS MINE, BODOH!"

11. Does love = sex?
NO. a hooker does not love her clients. love and sex are two different cravings.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
i think jeevan. forgot when. my situation.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?
the first. i would be more scared of losing them. maybe with lots of alcohol or the right circumstances.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
what else? my dream career depends on it. i love guitar so much that it makes my other hobbies seem passive. and even though i'm not world class, i have soul and i know it. that is what will make me.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
excluding this quiz i can't remember. i don't really say "i love you" outright.

18. Imagine: it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. who do you wish was there with you?
someone i hate. so that if it's a zombie i can throw him to the zombie while i escape.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
yes. i don't know them, so even if they are homeless they might be trying to make something out of their life.

21. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your reason for making the decision?
wah lau. i would save my grandmother. i love her so i can't chose some random baby over her. besides, my grandmother has done so much for me that saving her life can be a way to repay her. what the hell has a baby done for me?

22. Are you old fashioned?
in morals, yes. in the things i value, no. i don't value what most people do.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
altruism - a motive to increase...ah whatever. last week, when i helped sis and her hot friend practice for her teachers day performance. oopsdidisaythathahawellsisithinkshesquiteprettylabutyoureprettierlol

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
true love. but wait. if a broken heart is guaranteed, how is that true love? maybe if she died or something.

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
i want to stop having to ask why i am having to go through the tests i am going through. i want to stop feeling like i'm wandering in the dessert. i want to realise my dreams as soon as possible. mostly i want contentment.

you right where you are, from right where i am

2009-08-26T23:45:00.007+08:00

halfway through! HOO! HOO! HOO!

this sem hasn't been so good academically. it's not good enough. in singapore education, ok is never good enough. in other areas of life i feel stuck. i need change but it hasn't come. in the area of music though, damn, things have improved exponentially. maybe it's a case of dissonance after decision (ahhh stupid socio still stuck in my head) but this just has to be an affirmation of what i'm supposed to do in life.

PENSIVE MODE: OFF. OK. today i was at the bike shop and a bangla had his bike repaired for $32. but he tried to get away with paying $30. he and the bike shop uncle were like "$30 can la" "cannot" "can la" "cannot" until finally the uncle told him that if he didn't pay $32, he wouldn't fix his bike in future. so he paid $32 and umm...hip-girated away. gosh. trying to save $2 on something quite important...you can always buy your prata another time la.

somewhere between unsure and a hundred

until your lungs give out

2009-08-16T23:20:00.007+08:00

The Drama Floor Anthem

TKGS studio

bands:
Fleance
Helios, my junior, and his friends. the mat rocker was annoyingly good

Fuzzface
Beth - vocals
Ian - guitar
Gabriel - guitar
Uriah - drums

Saving Someone
generic name, generic sound, but good nonetheless

our setlist:
1. fallout boy - this ain't a scene, it's an arms race
by far my favourite song out of those we did. i had a lot of fun on it and i threw in my signature shizz. i didn't screw up on the part i thought i'd screw up.

2. foo fighters - my hero
it's a good song, but somehow i never got the groove of it. therefore i made some minor mistakes. i think the other bands heard, but the crowd continued singing and jumping anyway.

3. paramore - that's what you get
quite fun. this was DAMN well received by the crowd (sis' friends). no screw ups that i recall.

we were also supposed to do meant to live by switchfoot, but our time was cut short. damn. i would have loved that. oh well.

overall, i would rate my playing that night as not my best, but fair. collectively we did well considering we only practiced like five times. the crowd was fantastic. and really greennnnn. thanks TKGS. you were great last night. or rather two nights ago.

look, a golden windged ship is passing my way

2009-08-10T23:24:00.004+08:00

fatin's video for a contest to win a trip to seoul. i did one of the guitar parts.
music is God's greatest worldly gift to man. it's like nicotine, except it doesn't shorten your life. see if you can spot the naked guy holding the sheep.

i can't stand it when other Christians make themselves look like members of a cult group. you can be Christian and have a life. i mean, if you ask me if i'd rather listen to Hillsongs or Hendrix, you know my answer.and it really didn't have to stop
it just kept on going

where are you trying to get to?

2009-08-06T23:12:00.007+08:00

MY BAND MADE IT IN A REAUDITION WITH NEW SINGERS THANK GOD YEAAHHHHHHH.

hey may i come along?

nowadays, with the exception of cmm, i feel like every area of my life is a series of moves from place to place, person to person, trying to find a sense of belonging. feels like i'm always driving around, looking for a motel to stay in, but so far no vacancies. as you can see my brain has romanticized the whole nomad-backpacking-on-the-road thing.

then again i've thought about what might happen when i finally do find a vacant motel - that i like (better not to sleep than settle for some shit hotel 81). no telling how long i'll stay in it and how soon i have to go look for another one again.

"if i'm free, it's because i'm always running" - hendrix

excuse me while i kiss the sky

2009-07-28T22:09:00.002+08:00

ok i'm not gonna waste time typing philosophical shit now because i'd rather watch jimi hendrix in concert.

i am so gonna sign up for driving soon. and maybe go watch a saucy PG-13 movie. LOL.

His mother told him "Someday you will be a man,
And you will be the leader of a big old band.
Many people coming from miles around
To hear you play your music when the sun go down
Maybe someday your name will be in lights
Saying Johnny B. Goode tonight."

"thank you very much. alright. peace, happiness, and all that other bullshit."

uh you know you're a

2009-07-25T21:31:00.004+08:00

2:10-2:22. some people don't like this kind of showmanship. but we all watch the videos of PCD and the like, so i see nothing wrong with it.

you make me wanna get up and uh
SCREAM

correct me if i'm wrong, but clearly you don't think about me as much as i think about you. i'm really close to saying "fuck it". i'm at the letter k already.

whatever. i'm not letting any of my discontentments get in the way of my 18th.

i've made up my mind
i'm tired of wasting all my precious time

if you can just get your mind together

2009-07-21T20:37:00.002+08:00

look at the header. "roll one". and look at what hendrix is holding between his fingers. subliminal messaging at its best.

indeed. in times like these, weed and LSD make a strong case for themselves.

from reality i just can't drift

2009-07-16T22:10:00.004+08:00

that's why i'm staying with this riff

i bloody love those lyrics. from bob marley. i find that only songs from only certain artists are ok to listen to when i'm an a shitty mood. (this has nothing to do with how good the songs actually are)

jimi hendrix - yes
bob marley - yes
switchfoot - certain songs
relient k - no
coldplay - certain songs
u2 - no
queen - no
the who - certain songs
jack johnson - surprisingly no
jason mraz - no
muse - are you kidding me?

what do jimi hendrix and bob marley have in common? they were freaking HIGH. that's right, i think songs written under the influence of drugs are the most effective at lifting one's mood.

make it mine

2009-07-12T23:22:00.008+08:00

with the intro of life in technicolor. the video quality kinda sucks but heck.

to view on facebook

the singer is Fatin, who i only met the day before through Dom. and yet the gig was SOOO FREAAKKIINNNGGGG FUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

speaking electric water

2009-07-11T00:21:00.002+08:00

shit. i would like more weeks that are the opposite of this week.

i learn from my past, and i'm past putting all my eggs in one basket.

but you still blast me down to the ground

2009-07-08T23:48:00.005+08:00

the fact of the matter is we managed to do on a lowly free windows software, with relative ease, what everyone else struggled to do on that annoying ass "industry standard" software. it's like in secondary school when you write compos with twisted endings and kena minus marks for "not writing like you're supposed to". cb.

unrelated - people like to put an emotive word on their blogs and then copy paste the definition of that word. i don't do that, because i assume people know what the word means. but there are a few words floating around in my head that annoy the shit out of me. here is one of them.

unrequitted.

that ain't too cool

2009-07-03T23:32:00.004+08:00

my band didn't make it. knn babi.

i found this one with different questions

Pick Your Artist:
hendrix(zxzxzxzxzxzx. worxzxzxzxzxzx)

Are you male or female:
foxy lady (pretend i'm thai)

Describe yourself:
voodoo child

How do you feel about yourself:
hear my train a-comin

Describe where you currently live:
third stone from the sun

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
spanish castle magic

Your favorite form of transportation:
little wing

Your best friend is:
freedom

Your favorite color is:
fire

What's the weather like:
midnight lightning

Favorite time of day:
new rising run

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
ezy ryder

What is life to you:
purple haze

What is the best advice you have to give:
message to love

If you could change your name, what would it be:
hey joe

Your favorite food is:
castles made of sand

Thought for the Day:
bold as love

How I would like to die:
machine gun

My soul's present condition:
villanova junction

My motto:
jam back at the house

if i find out that you have been bluffing me all the while, i will not stand for it. you should know by now i'm not stupid. i could go on forever about this. but all i will say is that if (if) my suspicions are confirmed, i will ask what kind of person are you, fuck it and be gone.

purple haze, all in my brain

2009-07-02T23:08:00.003+08:00

actually my brain is kinda settling down now, since a few deadlines have passed. it's my emotions that are going haywire. too many to list, so i won't list any. but what i will say is that i do not like it when people try and fuck with my mind. so don't.

i wanna say thanks again to sis and rachel for the premature present - jimi hendrix live at the isle of wight. niceeee.

in the mean time, i can't wait to see the results of my Musicvox (tp rock band) audition tomorrow. we have a good chance.

revelling in energy that everyone's emitting

2009-06-27T00:41:00.007+08:00

i think i'll write the church camp post when i have the time.

my class' lip dub video. not THAT bad but honestly it could have been so much better had we chosen a simpler and more party song.

i played for tp's business school AGM. it was a SHITLOAD OF FUN. wah paradox sia. anyway it was me and one singer. Make it Mine by jason mraz. i'll post the video once it's on facebook. the postitive feedback i got from cmm ppl and a few strangers was damn encouraging. I'M IN LOVE WITH DOING GIGS!!!! and that was just one song. in front of only 200+ people. and already i got such a high before, during and after performing. I WANT TO DO MORE GIGS.

EDIT: OH SHIT I JUST REALISED I PUT 01'S BY ACCIDENT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. OK NOW IT'S CORRECT.

i'm going surfing cause i hate the race

2009-06-18T23:57:00.005+08:00

pics another time.

bali - overall a very good holiday and a much needed break (although i did do my assignments there). but much better than the last (tioman). the villa we stayed in (bali is mostly villas) was sweeeet. the food - sedap SIOL! ironically the best food i had there wasn't some balinese dish, but wagyu beef. ORHHHHH.

the best portion was when I LEARNT TO SURF!!!! YEAAHHH!!!!! i can see its appeal. you surf when you want to get away from life. and it's also quite exciting.

the second best portion was when i was semi drunk as we were checking out. i was staggering left and right trying to get my luggage. it just felt so...hhaaahhhhh.

and then, a day after unpacking from bali i packed for church youth camp. i'll save it for the next post, which i think it will be quite long.

i can save you from unoriginal dum dums

2009-06-06T23:14:00.002+08:00

yesterday TRB played together after dunno how long. in case you don't know already i LOVE jamming. i don't even care about the skill level of the people i jam with, as long as they have a sense of fun.

and then i got probably the biggest compliment on my playing to date. anand said i play just like matthew bellamy of Muse. holy SHIT. DAMNNN FLATTERING LA. that may not be very true but it really makes me wanna practice even harder. if only i actually had a break instead of these assignments.

today's lip dub shooting - damn tiring. just relieved it's out of the way. for a song choice as ambitious as Geek in the Pink i think it went well. AND CUPID WAS THE SEXYYYYYY SHIT!!!

it's been about ninety nine and one half days

2009-06-02T00:18:00.006+08:00

the title has no relation to the post.

i rediscovered how much i love to work out. i find it therapeutic. when i exert myself physically my mental and emotional pains go away. when i finish they come back, but that's beside the point. no time to restart training, but i should really restart my exercise routine. just half an hour every day on my own would be great.

it's a God damn arms race

2009-05-30T01:17:00.005+08:00

can't decide what to blog about, other than the fact that skills tests are screwed up and sss is pissing me off AGAIN (YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SUNDAY SCHOOL YOU RETARDED BABIS). so if you are in cmm and you know the joke...

oh look. footlong

the thrill is gone

2009-05-24T22:44:00.004+08:00

i'd like to be happy for you bro (not my real brother, i have none). don't lose hope. thing is, i find it hard to be happy for you when in the same area of my own life i'm not.

you know i thought it was supposed to be fun. it just isn't anymore. WHERE'S THE FUN GONE DAMMIT. it used to feel like a roller coaster. now it just feels like a gauntlet.

i think you move me
but i wanna know for sure

if i had that remote control for life, like in Click, i would turn the volume down a bit. then i would fast forward to this saturday. not because it's the start of my "break" (i have too many projects to call it a break), but because i look forward to TRB's practice and reunion jam. the 4 of us have not played together in over a year. and our facebook page is very dead.

let me stand next to your fire

2009-05-19T00:41:00.004+08:00

i don't support setting guitars on fire by the way. but sis will know what i'm talking about - it's got to do with how i recently started naming my guitars.

i keep thinking there are upcoming deadlines i forgot about. maybe cos the most of the assignments are deceptively far away. but now the only urgent deadline is my last stop press article. it's on netbooks, which is DAMN easy for me to write cos i have one.

YES I FINALLY GOT A DECENT HAIRCUT. tried to find brayton's barber but it was closed, so i went to this random malay barber next to it. i still have not broken my record for not going to a chinese barber in years. the last time i let a chinese lay a finger on my head, it was so bad that it looked my hair was wearing me. i know i'm not talking sense. and i like it.

and don't we all agree that facebook is an annoying ass means of procrastination?

EDIT: i was just showing something on my laptop to my dad. the light was off. he rested it on his chest. so the lights from my laptop shinning onto him made it look like he had...a nice blue pair of glow in the dark tits.

but who in your measly little world are you trying to prove

2009-05-11T23:53:00.002+08:00

cmon cmon cmon faster finish psa!!! damn i caught the blogging-about-psa bug. but i don't wanna! idon'twannaidon'twannaidon'twanna do psa! i want to explore new limits on my guitar. i want insanely fast fingers. i want to discover how to make my guitar laugh, cry, groan, scream, not to mention fart and have orgasms. serious. guitar people will understand.

all the cmm people are going insane whooopeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

you make-a everything, grooooooooooovyyyyyy

2009-05-09T00:16:00.002+08:00

audio production is the SHIT man! and it's hassle-free, unlike single cam production, where time is wasted setting up the huge ass camera. in audiopro we just switch on the mixer and record.

finally starting to feel like i'm getting out of the blur state that i've been in for the past month or more. at least blur is better than emo. the fact that i'm even getting work done at a steady pace surprises me.

evil man make you kill me

2009-05-03T22:14:00.003+08:00

i hate intermediary periods. like now when i'm dedicing between 3 or possibly 4 ccas. i'm also coming out of another in-between phase. and umm...OH MY FUCK WHAT THE. well the saying my dad always tells me obviously won't help here. but i think this one does. i've typed it before, but in english.

satu pintu tutuk, satu pintu bukak.

also in school i'm learning once again not to believe what people say about a person, and to go and suss their character out for myself. given how quickly people change, the person might be trying to start from scratch and dispell their bad rep. so the rest of us should give them a chance.

EDIT: conversely, i encounter people who are said to be "ok"...yeah, about as ok as being stabbed.

something's wrong, this key won't unlock this door

2009-04-24T00:10:00.003+08:00

finally met my new class. for one lesson. so can't say much. also tried a new cca. for one lesson. quite fun, although i'm going to have to adjust a bit to the friends. but they remind me of my best dpa friends, so that's good.

pardon my broken peranakan (not malay)

eh, jangan machiam la. ian nijam tak tahu bikin apa. lu kasih ian ada manyak doubts, ian tak suka la. fucking tak suka. jangan machiam.

i want a breeze and an open mind

2009-04-18T22:59:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! my blog sometimes gets too angsty for my liking. ah here's a happy thought - i'm not doing a cds this sem and, as i've already done three, I TECHNICALLY DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH ANOTHER CDS FOR MY ENTIRE POLY LIFE!!! YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

people forget, forget they're hiding

2009-04-16T17:50:00.007+08:00

oh shit. i found out something so stupid that i don't even want to mention it. has to do with school. then again i worry about the future all the time, and 99% of the time my fears are proven to be unfounded. but it's the 1% that scares me. still, i am a logical person, and logically there is nothing to fear.

meanwhile, i can't login to the bloody tp student thing to check my timetable. and other than huiwen (hi huiwen) i don't know of anyone from 1c04 who will be in my new class.

EDIT: the cmm party was fun, but mostly before 2am. after that everybody was too tired to do shit. at the party i took a look at my new class list. ehhmm...all of the people who i didn't want in my class are in other classes, but a few people who i would have liked to be in the same class with are also in other classes.

same story for my timetable, which i finally managed to check. i kapoh go and look at other people's timetables and i see some that are a lot stupider than mine, but a handful that are freaking nice. most importantly, mine has no bloody long breaks.

as the boys play rock and roll

2009-04-14T00:05:00.008+08:00

first mma sparring of which there are pics! with jeevan and his friend queck. damn lazy to upload here. these are some of my favourites. the rest are on facebook.

after that brought them to Guitar Connection (the shop my dad and i always go to). then went to help jeevan look for shoes.

i mentioned to him that you can tell how good a guitar shop is by what its patrons play. at Swee Lee i hear people playing beginner to intermediate stuff. at Guitar Connection the people i meet are all DAMN pro.

queck's catchphrases are ringing in my ears now.
"bish!"
"rock! plus water"

it's all she ever thinks about riding with the wind

2009-04-11T22:53:00.005+08:00

lately i've been "taking a leaf out of someone else's book". it's...interesting, to say the least.

i want the class timetable to faster come out man. there are a few people who i really hope will end up in a different class from me. ironically most of these people would be pleased if they were in my class. shit, i think a couple of them are sort of hoping for it. they think i'm friends with them and they don't have that many friends in the course. oh and i just need to say this. it doesn't concern anyone who reads this blog...

you seriously have a fucked up idea of love. but even worse is your idea of friendship. think of all the times i helped you. i defy you to name me ONE time you actually helped me. SAYING you will help me does not count. all mouth and no backbone. everytime i wanted something done i went and did it myself. fucking babi.

unrelated - 2 years ago if i faced a something i would have been so timid and just not bothered. but not now.

"you're looking to knockout. don't wait for the knockout. just [get more] points.
the knockout will happen. just let it come."

this is not our fate, so let us not talk falsely

2009-04-07T23:35:00.006+08:00

YES i recorded my first full instrumental! but i can't find a way to upload it. blogger doesn't let me and stupid imeem wont login.

random - of all the ways to play a guitar this is right up there in the weeeheeee category

unrelated - oh COME ON!

running for the door

2009-04-06T00:20:00.005+08:00

i don't know which church i will like best, all i know is staying in this one is not going to do me any good. it's not one person or thing in particular, it's all the things and people that piss me off added up. when (not if) i'm gone i will miss exactly three people from bkc. but i gotta do what i gotta do. i don't belong to THIS church, i belong to THE Church. and thankfully my parents are totally supportive. so i'm on my toes, ready to free myself really soon.

layla pt 3 / now my feet won't touch the ground

2009-04-02T13:33:00.003+08:00

in a nutshell, pattie boyd divorced george harrison and married eric clapton 2 years later. however, george harrison attended their wedding, along with fellow Beatles ringo starr and paul mcartney. umm. the end.

the reason i blogged this story is to show what blues, an almost endangered genre today except for maybe john mayer, is about. the sad, whirlwind series of events eric clapton went through spawned the inspiration for Layla, which is my favourtie eric clapton song. that's what blues is - like crying through music.

this is random but my feet still ache from sunday's badminton game with jaclyn. it's a very wierd kind of ache. it's at that ligament where the top of my foot is connected to my shin. it wasn't that tiring but it turned out to be more of a workout than i expected. haha.

layla pt 2

2009-04-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

wah lau. it's already the 2nd quarter of the year. january was hectic but brought new hope. february was mostly quite awesome. march was a bitterweet symphony, like A Tale of Two Cities - "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. we had everything before us, we had nothing before us."

i'm gonna do this again, after realizing that i wasn't supposed to put my player on shuffle.

The rules,
Choose a singer/band/group
Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
---

My choice: U2 this time

1. Male or female?
A Man and A Woman

2. Describe yourself
Kite

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Staring at the Sun

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Walk On

5. Describe your current relationship.
In a Little While

6. Where would you want to be now?
Where the Streets Have No Name

7. How do you feel about love?
Two Hearts Beat as One

8. What's your life like?
Zooropa

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Love and Peace or Else

10. Say something wise.
Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own

right. this is a continuation of the Layla story. after eric clapton fell in love with george harrison's wife (her name was pattie boyd), he began to fear for his sanity. he desperately wanted her, but she wasn't with just anyone. she was with george harrison. he didn't want to come bewteen them but he knew that if things stayed the same he would literally lose his mind. of course the story doesn't end here either.

hiding much too long

2009-03-30T22:27:00.003+08:00

"when i'm emo i play the blues" - ian

seriously. playing emo music on my guitar just makes me more emo. so i play the blues.

i found out that today happens to be eric clapton's birthday. that means rach has the same birthday as him!!!! yay rach!!! haha.

the song was based on a persian poem that was in turn based upon a true story. but eric clapton was also writing about his own experience. he fell in love with the wife of george harrison. but the story didn't end there.

i have the eric clapton model electric guitar.

there's a clamour in your whispering

2009-03-26T22:46:00.005+08:00

i can't see my intended destination from where i am. i don't know if i can get there from here, or even if i'm supposed to. i just pray that i'll be able to see the next few hundred metres and that i stay on the right road.

laid off the training sessions for now. that way i'm able to get more of my work assignment done. because until today it had progressed painfully slow.

got facebook tagged

The rules,
Choose a singer/band/group
Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
---

My choice: The Who (beacause their songs have random titles)

1. Male or female?
The Real Me
(is male. so the pirated me is?)

2. Describe yourself
Who Are You
(you ask me i ask who?)

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Pure and Easy
(ooh. nice)

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
The Seeker
(no comment)

5. Describe your current relationship.
I'm a Boy
One girl was called Jean Marie
Another little girl was called Felicity
Another little girl was Sally Joy
(i'm in a relationship with Jean Marie, Felicity and Sally Joy)

6. Where would you want to be now?
My Generation
(what the. no link)

7. How do you feel about love?
I Can See For Miles
(i don't get tricked easily now)

8. What's your life like?
I Can't Explain
(i really can't)

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
I'm Free
(hmm...in a way)

10. Say something wise.
Baba O'Reily
*rubs beard*

random - i think american idol judge kara dioguardi is hot. paula abdul looks like a foot next to her. kara also gives really practical and constructive advice. but besides that, she's hot.

mele kalikimaka

2009-03-20T13:36:00.005+08:00

new spoof. ok the owner of this blog actually asked for this spoof some time back. so thanks for the request, and here goes.

-start of spoof-
hellooooooo!!! okay i know i haven't been updating. & i am proud of it. HAHAHAHA. whatever.

been damn lazy. i blame it on my completely screwed up sleep patterns. wheeeee! -_- hahaha

OH! check this out. isn't it like the cutest shizz you've ever seen!? :D baby pandas FTW! & i hate stupid youtube taking soooo damn long to load its videos.

damn long holidays.

stupid weather.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

random cryptic phrase.

lance the turtle
aloha lance
lance the turtle
dance, dance, dance

ok i think i better stop now. byeeeee. :)

EDIT: & i think this guy trying to teach people how to play guitar hero III songs is PAthetic. what a waste of a Gibson SG. my cat can play better than him! (btw i don't have a cat but you get my point.)

EDIT: i seriously have to stop this multiple edits shizz. :O

-end of spoof-

how i long for yesterday / we should get jerseys... / defficency of / here goes my fare thee well

2009-03-18T23:34:00.011+08:00

from sunday to tuesday i was at my church's Junior Sunday School camp. i played a truckload of songs for them and led their morning exercise, which included some self defense. joel's head is just the right shape to demonstrate a standing side choke on. but really he's a cool kid.

even helping out, i had great fun. if i were a participant it would have been the bomb. so i asked myself: why did i not have this much fun when i was a kid? NOT FAIR!!! (throws tantrum)

The Olive with sis for what was supposed to be lunch. but they didn't serve lunch at that time so i thought what the hell, i'll have me my first glass of gin. bombay sapphire gin, to be precise. the whole "meal" was really not worth it but it was a one time thing. later went for lunch at vivocity.

ps. the dots are for you to complete the line

balls. i am appalled by how many people suffer from it.

bye huiwen, zach, nadia, cassie, and whoever else i know who's going for uwa. and you'll have to make your own fun there. australia as a travel destination is really touristy.

to be content with where i am and getting where i need to be

2009-03-12T00:24:00.004+08:00

in reverse chronological order...

my gpa increased by a such a minuscule amount it's almost funny.

at school the same people wasted my damn time again, this time by not even wasting my time. indeed a "FUCK LA WAH LAU EH" worthy incident. fucking babi.

cycling with jaclyn. from east cost to esplanade and flyer (and back). will post pics another time.

excercise-turned-sparring with jeevan! i get to practice stuff which i don't get time to practice in training. and he gets to learn many new moves. win-win. nice.

EDIT:
some pics from cycling

the bike jaclyn rented had my ~~gang~~ numbers on it!

p.s. i didn't put the pics you sent me because i have faith in your edited versions. haha.

of being lazy and being bored

2009-03-07T16:49:00.007+08:00

ok i haven't been that lazy but for the last two weeks before this i blogged too much. even though i usually blog late at night, it kinda aggravated my boredom. and i don't get bored very easily. so when i say i was bored, i was DAMN bored. this week i didn't do more than the last two, but the main reason i felt less bored is because i blogged less.

introduced wang min to the guitar shop yesterday. brought home the new les paul. the sound is really weighty and full-bodied. it sounds SOOOOO FREAKING GOOD!!! as if the sound didn't get me high enough, wayne from the shop told casually told me that it's a JIMMY PAGE model. and earlier this week my dad and i had already gone to bring back the eric clapton strat.

the banjo was really worth it. good thing i bought it instead of a ukulele. now i think i want a cheap bongo. or i could try finding the church's one, since they never use it.

the holidays are less than a quarter over. might as well start getting into a proper holiday mood. this is the acoustic version by the way.

Make It Mine - Jason Mraz

i never really know

2009-03-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

yesterday two firsts. my first time visiting another church. it's really small but it felt real. i quite liked it. and my first banjo. gosh, it's purrrdy.

training today reminded me how much room for improvement i have. but nowadays i can hold my own against some people in sparring. so fighting in muay thai tournaments has moved from a fantasy to a distant possibility.

oh, unrelated - thank you. :)

i think i can't

2009-02-28T20:38:00.001+08:00

i think i can't
but i think You can
i think You can
gather my insufficiencies
and place them in Your hands
place them in Your hands

never underestimate my Jesus
your'e telling me that there's no hope
i'm telling you you're wrong
never underestimate my Jesus
when the world around you crumbles
He will be strong

i hate feeling irrationally down even though i know things are fine. it's all in my head. ok maybe 99% in my head.

i will stop being too hard on myself. in all the non-academic things where i'm discontented, i have to keep reminding myself that i tend to have a late start, and in the time i've been given so far i have in fact made decent progress.

i'm getting a banjo tomorrow. woooo!!!!!!!

life is a highway / celebrate the maleable reality

2009-02-27T21:04:00.014+08:00

i cycled from home to labrador park and back. yup. i spent one and a half hours cycling there, half an hour wasting time and one hour cycling back. in total i covered just over half the length of singapore on my cheap ass bike. i got a rather wierd tan while i was at it.

it was, if i may say so myself, hard. CORE. wookie, eat your heart out.

i used the following route (in blue) i found which doesnt use the ecp. it starts at tanjong katong, passes nicoll highway, city hall, clarke quay, chinatown, tanjong pagar, harbourfront, pasir panjang and finally reaches labrador villa road.along the way. chinatown apartment buildings are hideous, eh?lagi hideousproofthree reasons why i like labrador park

i don't mind being a cleaner there actually, like this guy. for those of you who think i meant that, shame on you.The Olive restaurantThe Villa Raintree Resort and Spa, the one which charges an annual membership fee of $3000

yesterday nothing much. except for the pleasant surprise that i randomly got promoted to the senior class in muay thai. (there's only junior and senior at my gym.) won't explain the details here.

everything changes. especially our opinions of others. i said fantastic things about people last time that i wouldn't think of saying now. conversely there were people who i couldn't stand but now i really don't mind their company. only God is constant. everything else in life is always changing. that makes me apprehensive, but it also gives me hope. i hate contradicting myself.

this could be nothing. but i'm willing to give it a try

2009-02-26T00:09:00.001+08:00

good day today. and i didn't even think about what i was gonna do. went to the guitar shop to help my dad choose strats. sampling about 8 high end fender strats in an hour is the SHIZZLE.

next went to get my repaired laptop. turned out to be a motherboard failure, though what exactly caused it i don't know. what i do know is who i won't let near my laptop again.

after that went over to labrador park a second time. found the resort and spa club. individual membership is $3000 a year. ehhhhhheheheheheh. that was supposed to sound like crying. nevermind. then found the restaurant i ate at once or twice. it was nice but today no one was there. figures, it being a weekday and i was there at 3pm. i'm having this absurd idea of, when i'm older, buying one of those decrepid old flats at pasir panjang just so that labrador park will be my backyard.

looks like the sinema old school people aren't gonna call. oh well. found a writing assignment. job anyway. thankfully now i have something to pay for my boxing gloves, as well as the mouth guard and groin guard that i supposedly have to get.

her own little world

2009-02-25T00:01:00.001+08:00

spoof time!!! guess the theme of this one. haha.

disclaimer: i have neither animosity nor respect for this person. the blog is just so damn spoofable!

-start of spoof-
omg i got massacred today.
sigh.
stop ks-ing me la everyone.
there is a limit to my tolerance.

met CURLY in the forest today!
omg! i really missed him!
he smells soooo good!

don't laugh at us.
none of you understand!
he's so nice la.
he only doesn't come out in the sun cos he'll turn to 1s and 0s.

omg. I LOVE YOU CURLY!
i know what you are. but i'm not afraid of you.
SUCK MY BLOOD CLURLY! SUCK TILL I SHRIVEL UP AND EVAPORATE!
i don't wanna do my work or any work at all. i wanna be with you forever.

-end of spoof-

EDIT:

i said i would spoof THAT blog around this time. but nah. changed my mind. cos you know what? that blog ain't even worth it. the owner of the blog is not worthy to be mentioned here either.

and this is where i've been

2009-02-24T00:01:00.001+08:00

unpleasant things first. reading my own archives, i realized i sounded like people whom i don't want to sound like, both in what i said and how i said it. when i blog i must blog like ian yap and only ian yap.

ok now better stuff. the highlight of my strange, cool and strangely cool day was an impromptu visit to barker with the others whom i went with to apply for a job. i found it quite fun to give a "tour" of the campus including the concert hall, the secret toilet and the damn big house on the hill. i forget how freaking nice the campus is - the right size, pleasant and looks expensive (because it is). AND THE CARS!!! on any given day in barker you could see at least one hot car pass by. every day. uh huh. i'm not the typical acs demographic but i still agree that BARKER ROCKS MAN!

fist lock bumping and wrist lock

2009-02-22T23:39:00.001+08:00

overall a not bad first week of hols.

monday - finally restarted training

tuesday - went to school to have my time wasted. made up for it by cycling to training and back, and the first time i made someone tap out in sparring

wednesday - found king solomon's lost gold. ah who am i kidding

thursday - nothing much other than training again

friday - met nigel, pastor at a really small church which i'm going to check out. (i'm looking to visit other churches around my area to see what they are like.) went to hp to send laptop for repair. visited labrador park on a whim (wang min there's a suggestion for you), then the guitar shop my father frequents

saturday - worship practice, followed by jamming with wang min and jaclyn. (i won't put inverted commas because it was such a refreshing change from all my worship practices, which just aren't interesting anymore.)

sunday - only came to church because i was playing for worship. no lesson. and i was the only one from my class who came anyway

can ya

2009-02-20T01:28:00.001+08:00

CAN YA!?

i do these quizzes here instead of on facebook cos i don't want to tag people to do.

1. i am Christian and yes religion is still relevant in today's context

2. i am TAN and proud of it! RRRAAAAA!!! (rips shirt off and turns even more tan)

3. no. 2 shows that i am not a vampire and that i do not fear the sun

4. no. 3 shows that i personally find werewolves cooler than vampires

5. no. 2 and 3 show that i have my own opinions about things and people, which tend to be somewhat against the grain

6. i love to travel but don't have the opportunities

7. my hair is black, has always been black and will always be black - until i'm 40 or something

8. i like martial arts, as opposed to most martial artists who only like ONE martial art, the one they practice

9. i subscribe to "if it didn't kill me it made me stronger"

10. there was one big mistake i made in my first year of poly which i really will regret for life

11. but there are bound to be more people like that

12. and if it didn't kill me it made me stronger

13. RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (imagines self turning)

14. no. 13 shows that as a movie i prefer underworld to twilight.

15. and yes i did watch twilight cos sis was watching it online and i was there

16. HETEROSEXUALS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!

17. i should have been living in the 50s. you know, when women didn't care for metrosexual men

18. or maybe in the 60s, when car design was at its peak. again contrary to popular opinion, cars looked best in the 60s. they got progressively uglier until the late 90s then now they're nice again

19. ninety-one. number ninety-one. ninety-one

20. i do not believe in talking to someone to vent my anger, which is what my mother always tells me to do...

21. i believe in beating the shit out of an inanimate object

22. i feel blessed in that i've earned money out of a hobby

23. i have a knack for being underestimated

24. and people tend to tell me "oh you didn't seem like the kind to do...".

25. i think this quiz is a bit unoriginal

EDIT: one more. guess who i copied this from again. haha.
1. Name: ian

2. A four-letter word: imma (as in imma gonna)

3. A boy's name: isaac

4. A girl's name: isabel

5. An occupation: illusionist

6. A colour: indigo

7. Something you'd wear: invisible bra. happy!?

8. A brand: island/def jam records

9. A food: ice

10. Something found in the bathroom: intense shower therapy something

11. A place: italy

12. A reason for being late: "i...i...i...AHHHHH!!!!"

13. Something you'd shout: see 12
14. A movie: i am legend

15. Something you drink: immortality juice (it exists. go search it)

16. A musical group: incubus

17. An animal: impala

18. A street name: "i AM the" street (omg go check, it exists)

19. A type of car: infiniti, which is to nissan what lexus is to toyota

20. A song: i'm yours, all songs starting with "i'm" and "i"

and the internet, it still doesn't work

2009-02-19T00:08:00.001+08:00

not the internet, actually. my laptop. not exactly sure what caused it to spoil but must have been something to do with the tp internet shit. that one went and gei kiang and tried to put into my laptop a few weeks ago.

come to think of it my laptop is one of just two things really bugging me. the other is not stop press. don't care for that right now.

they're talking in a language i don't speak

2009-02-17T17:02:00.002+08:00

and they're talking it to me

wah fuck. church also like that. school also like that. must be the price i pay for being not shouting about my abilities. this post could have been called "i'm a substitute 2". i HATE being put in a "you just stand by first ah in case we need extra people" position. and i wish wookie and company would just shut the hell up and stop thinking they are the only ones who know stuff. fuck this, i'm off to more fulfilling matters i.e. training.

EDIT: training was the SHIZZLE. i made someone tap out in sparring. finally!!! yay!!! that cheered me up. more than anything training is a fix of temporary freedom from school's problems.watch "fight club" and you'll understand. cycling to there (tanjong katong to clarke quay), 90 min lesson, cycling back. this is the life. by the way even though i got the things in the original post out of my system, i maintain most of what i said. especially about wookie and company.

when one door closes i hope one more opens

2009-02-16T23:36:00.001+08:00

the title is self-explanatory.

YES! finally restarted training. haaahhh. i just thought of woods cough syrup. you know the one that goes "hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. effective relief." nevermind.

excluding training, i found that the best way to prevent boredom (not that i get easily bored anyway) is to space out my activities such that i have not more than one significant thing a day. because if one day is too eventful the following few will get draggy.

shit. i think i cannot afford to go for coldplay because i'll be buying boxing gloves. i'm still not gonna work though, unless i find a temp job that lets me still go for training regularly.

a loaded six string on my back / a table at the grattitude cafe

2009-02-14T01:06:00.005+08:00

I RECORDED MY OWN MUSIC! YEAAHHHH!!!!! i'm starting out with intros. soon i'll go into whole instrumentals, and maybe have my sis sing.

i recorded my playing with a line 6 pod. go google it. it's more worth it than an amp. i plugged in to the pod, connected it by usb to my com, downloaded the driver, downloaded audacity and put the layers together. these are my 2 best so far.

intro of jason mraz - the remedy. 2 layers

the remedy guitar intro - ah seng
intro of the who - who are you (the csi theme). 4 layers

who are you guitar intro - ah seng

EDIT: no use complaining that i miss my acsbr people, because i can't change that. so might as well remind myself that looking back, t04 was not bad. it was just that it took me half the school year to rid myself of the worst person i've met in my whole life. the class as a whole was fine - fun but not to the point of being irritating.

socio t07 was the SHIZZLE, because we had a fun tutor and a class where no one took anyone too seriously. and we only saw one another once a week, too little for any conflicts to build. oh yeah, if it weren't for socio t07 i wouldn't have met up with johnny, the only other acsbr 4a2 guy in tp. and jeevan! what were the chances man. nice.

flash! ahhhhhh!!!

2009-02-13T00:40:00.001+08:00

and already the first third of poly is over. wow. too much change too fast, frankly.

a strange enough new play on words

2009-02-09T22:36:00.004+08:00

(photo from rachyee)

look at the prices of drinks in sentosa. you can get two drinks for that price at provision shops.

the sentosa flowers event for photog group project was, frankly, cheena and plastic. but the day out was fun.

EDIT: 10/02. group project was handed in. the photos turned out so-so, but the whole thing went smoothly. in contrast, the mmp project got an a. talk about *ahem* IRONY *ahem*

i want to ride my bicycle

2009-02-06T00:49:00.001+08:00

I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't usually blog about my day but today was comically stupid.

as i came home from school i saw that some fucker put a lock on my bike. not a bike. just a lock. so i couldn't get my bike out.

i went home to get some tools to try and force it open. didn't work. my dad told me he'd buy a big wire cutter and come. while waiting for him i sat at the bus stop and fell asleep.

i was woken up by two policemen, well one was a woman. i explained to them that my father would come and testify that it was MY fucking bike. the stupid bastard who nothing better to do go and call police was too stupid to know that even a stupid criminal would not steal a bike in view of many people and sit around at the bus stop with his tools.

in the end my dad and i got the bloody lock cut. the police helped - to delay the whole thing. whoever put the bloody lock on my bike is probably jealous that he cannot even afford a freaking $88 bike. if i find out who he is i will wrist LOCK him, leg LOCK him, ankle LOCK him and head LOCK him. oh and then i will knee his balls to a pulp so he cannot ride a bike in a straight line..

that's a case of my wishful thinking

2009-02-05T00:48:00.001+08:00

looks like it'll end before it started. that should take the sting out of whatever unpleasant happens next, if anything. then two and a half months to before another round of nonsense.

what i need is a new approach to all the garbage i run into. i cannot look at old problems from old perspectives. most of the current approaches to school life are clearly not working. so maybe that's what the hols are for. to think of new ones.

deep breaths

2009-02-03T23:08:00.001+08:00

a few ponderings from more bruce lee writings, all on the same issue.

in a pursuit, does the pursuit itself count more than what's being pursued or is it the other way around?

to desire is a disease. to desire not to desire is also a disease.

if infected with such a disease, go with it do not resist it. that way you will be rid of it.

EDIT: this morning i was asked "are you ok?" my reply was "physically i'm ok, but that's about it."

to know that i know that you know

2009-02-01T21:15:00.003+08:00

would have either really good or really bad effects. but if there was i way of knowing i think i'd have found it by now. and i haven't.

slow and steady. slow and steady. slow and steady.

hey joe

2009-01-28T22:57:00.003+08:00

by jimmi hendrix. enough of emo lyrics. look at these. actually the lyrics are just to get you from solo to jimmi hendrix solo.

Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand
Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand

I'm going down to shoot my old lady
You know, I've caught her messin' around with another man
I'm going down to shoot my old lady
You know, I've caught her messin' around with another man
And that ain't too cool

Hey Joe, I've heard you shot your woman down,
shot her down, now
I said I've heard you shot your old lady down,
You shot her down to the ground

Yes I did, I shot her
You know, I caught her messin' round, messin' round town
Yes I did, I shot her
You know, I caught my old lady messin' around town
I took out my gun
AND I SHOT HER!

Hey Joe, alright
Shoot her one more time, baby

Hey Joe, said now
Where you gonna run to now?
Where you gonna run to?
Hey Joe, I said where you gonna run to now?
Where you, where you gonna go?
Well, dig it

I'm goin' way down south,
Way down to Mexico way
Alright!
I'm goin' way down south,
Way down where I can be free
Ain't no one gonna find me

Ain't no hangman gonna,
He ain't gonna put a rope around me
You better believe it right now
I gotta go now
Hey Joe, you better run on down
Good bye everybody
Hey Joe, uhh
Run on down

thank them for being so neato

2009-01-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

i'm trying the firefox extension which allows you to post on blogs from one app, without logging in to the blog site itself. it works for most types of blogs.

as i ransack their homes they wanna shake my hand

2009-01-26T21:50:00.002+08:00

i know my own musical abilities. if other people like to pose it is their problem. it also is not my fault if other people overhear what i imply about their kid's abilities. if i really wanted to make a fool out of them i would have joined them, asked to borrow their guitar and done my shit.

my parents don't know that i'm practicing something. i'm practicing not taking shit from anyone. i'd rather be slightly unpopular for indirectly dissing others than be stepped on and underrated due to a lack of self confidence, which i did have until a couple of years ago. my point here is - a little pride is good for oneself now and then.

if you gots the poison i gots the remedy

2009-01-25T20:14:00.002+08:00

this post is for us, the members of t04 group d who did a proper job on the project. let's work on that email soon. we don't even need to exaggerate anything. the full extent of the problems that that one gave us will be obvious. we have our tutors behind us. we have the rest of the class supporting us. (except the other one. haha. she might even say "what project?")

i might seem like the most unbiased, but that's because i have personally been through worse in my first year of poly. so i've become kinda desensitized. but i am as pissed as you guys. but this is not gonna spoil our cny. :)

are your thoughts results of static cling?

2009-01-20T23:38:00.002+08:00

screw "once bitten, twice shy". so cliche. i prefer to picture someone who is wanting to walk to a spot in front of him. he gets kicked in the leg. and again. and again. he stops for a while. but he starts walking again. he stops to think. then he starts walking again, only this time slowly.

i think i've found a good explanation for compatibility, whether you believe me or not. all personality traits are either ying or yang. ying traits are feminine, passive and cool. yang traits are masculine, active and warm. a well balanced individual has equal proportions of both. and i'm not talking about ladyboys either. as for compatibility, two people, when put together, should have a collective balance of ying and yang. still follow? good. a collective balance of ying and yang does NOT support the other cliche "opposites attract". they don't. they just don't.

makes you want to start it all again

2009-01-13T23:58:00.005+08:00

viagra muay thai ad

good fun photographing mma today. must resume training, doesn't matter where. it is a dose of sweat-and-testosterone-filled enjoyment in an increasingly unfulfilling weekly routine.

fill up my blank page

2009-01-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

first, ong bak 2. wow. wow. wow. as a movie, not that great. but that's what tony jaa is known for. not much of a story but the BEST fighting on screen today. ong bak 2 took it to another level. i love the fights cause they don't feature A martial art. they feature martial arts. heck, i can't even name all the styles and weapons he used. but to give an idea of how all-encompassing the fights were, he used

snake kung fu

crane kung fu

tiger kung fu

eagle kung fu

muay thai

judo

lucha libre (ya!)

mma

some wierd form of drunken boxing

chinese staff

chinese spear

three section staff

rope dart

japanese katana

chinese dao

malay keris

some curly arab sword

very bruce lee-ish in its philosophy. never mind, explaining bruce lee's fighting philosophy to non enthusiasts is like explaining the concept of day and night to a blonde.

next, wow. wow. wow. when i said that some people "grow on you", i never expected bamboo-like growth such as this. not too hopeful about it, but i welcome it anyway.

are you really as tough as you think

2009-01-06T22:19:00.002+08:00

ong bak 2 trailer. for pure martial arts action this will be the SHIZZLE. ip man was great too. and it had a great story as well, for those who aren't into martial arts.

1:39 - 1:50. what a way to shut someone up!!!

one of the biggest lessons i learnt in poly is that people are different as acquaintances and as known friends. well i knew that, but i hadn't found out that there are so many categories. the types i've met are...

people who seem a bit uncouth and low class but who actually make decent friends

people who act nice but are actually TOTAL BITCHES

people who seem not bad-ish at first but are DAMN WIERD AND SHOULD BE LEFT ALONE ... to be with curly - psst, this is a clue as to my next spoof

people who seem normal enough but are really blind to reality

people who seem quite asshole, or sometimes aloof, but are actually quite harmless

people who have a certain mystique about them but are actually just troubled - they still make decent friends though

people who make a fair first impression ... but over time grow on you and make you go EH! EH! EH!

me? well not for me to say. what i can say is that first impressions are crap. i'm guessing that 1 in 4 of my friends is friends with me based on first impressions.

and then there's the type that is the same after knowing them for 2 days and for 2 months. the type with pretty much only one face. this is neither good nor bad, but this type is very rare. and the person i met in school who fits this type is none other than ... i think you'd know who they are. but in case you don't, i'll give you a clue. anand. there you go. so here's a "wai", the thai mark of respect, to you. :)